How should children make friends? Remember these four points. Parents are not in a hurry

Parents are increasingly aware that their children's friends have an important impact on whether their children play truant, steal bicycles and other dangerous behaviors when they become teenagers in the future. For today's children, the friendship of peers has become more and more important as children's backing and social reference.

More than ever, today's children need to develop their friendship with their peers in order to cope with other children, make good choices, and become good friends. Whether they are in nurseries, kindergartens or primary schools, children interact with other children at an early stage, and social problems appear more and more early. Social problems such as exclusion, bullying the weak and mocking have expanded from middle school to primary school and from primary school to kindergarten, and the children in primary school and kindergarten are not armed to deal with these problems. We need to give children some specific methods to help them navigate in the mud of social relations.

Here are four strategies that your child can use if peer problems are frustrating and tingling. The common goal of these strategies is to teach children to believe in their instincts and do what they are told to do. This sounds simple, but some aspects of these strategies may be unacceptable to parents: you must give your children the right not to like certain children.

Parents often think that children, especially young children, should not evaluate others. However, if children don't learn to believe in their true feelings, they may always find themselves in an unhealthy relationship so that they can't meet their needs. By teaching your child these strategies early, you can help your child evaluate his partners, improve relationships, and determine when a friend is safe and when not.

Strategy 1: trust your feelings

The key is to make children realize that it is OK to have their own views on friends and believe in their instincts to tell them what to do. However, if parents do not encourage them to think so, most children will not believe in themselves. For example, 4-year-old Yangyang seems to have a bad time with his classmate Xiao Peng. The two children are neighbors and play together a few days a week. Recently, Yangyang's mother found herself often involved in the conflict between her two children. The following is the conversation between Yangyang and his mother.

Yangyang: Xiaopeng won't let me play with his things. Mom: did you give him your stuff?

Yangyang: Yes, but he is a cheapskate. I hate him!

Mom: Yangyang! Don't say that. You two have known each other since childhood. You will have a good time next time.

Like many parents, Yangyang's mother doesn't want her son to sound unfriendly or use the word "hate". Of course, she can ask Yangyang to change the wording, but she needs to accept rather than suppress Yangyang's real response. Children's response can often accurately indicate what happened.

Strategy 2: think about what's wrong

The child said it was "OK" to be with a friend, but he looked upset and unhappy. The reason why he said "OK" may be that you just want to hear him say he had a good time, or he may feel uncomfortable because he did something with his friends (such as mocking another child). Your goal is to help your child understand his internal reactions, how his friends treat him, what he feels, and find the connection between the two. If your child doesn't automatically say how he feels, you can ask him some questions (see below). In such a situation in the future, he may be able to ask himself these questions, and he may have a clearer understanding of his role and role in the relationship. Yangyang's mother listened to the above experts. The next time Yangyang played with Xiaopeng, the dialogue between her mother and Yangyang will be different.